Situation: Customer forgot to bring pants/mask to wear while shopping.
Talking points: If the customer is wearing pants but no mask, then call for a manager to speak with them about social distancing. If they are wearing a mask but no pants then express your admiration for their endurance during the inclement weather. Offer to let them borrow a pair of pants from the store to use while they shop. If the customer is wearing neither pants nor a mask, the root issues at play are not obvious. Ring a two-bell and request folding chairs. Sit down with the customer. Get to know them. Really dig deep. Start with today and travel backward. Allow all other customers to come and go as they please.

Situation: Person asks Crew at front door what line is for.
Talking points: This is a surprising point of confusion, but some people have never encountered a line at any time in their life. Maintain your patience, and explain that the line is for waiting. Do not offer further details as it may be a phishing scheme.

Situation: Customer has polenta preference.
Talking points: This is a highly suspect claim. Keep the conversation brief. Divert to non-polenta topics, such as crunchy foods like biscotti or dry pasta. Avoid mentioning products with squishy textures, such as tofu, as it may provide a door to bring the discussion back around to polenta. Call for bagging help to expedite the customer’s exit.

Situation: Timeclock sounds angry, says angry things.
Talking points: The timeclock is always angry. The timeclock hates you continuously, every day, even if it’s your day off, and every night. The timeclock extra-hates you in leap years, when it has an extra 24 hours to be brimming with seething anger. It’s always surprised by leap day, which is ironic since it’s a timeclock. But it is, because it is so full of malaise that it has forfeited its sight into the future. The timeclock wants you to leave forever and take your dumb time with you. The timeclock should not be appeased. Don’t bring yourself down to its level. Talk to a management helper person for assistance.