…a fortune for every day of the month!
- Questioning authority is like using a car horn: a bold move that may not yield the desired results.
- Only the false prophet will console you.
- Money saved on gas can be spent on beer.
- Discounted groceries can never last.
- Sometimes signs point to the bathroom, sometimes signs are in the bathroom.
- Integrity shared is integrity believed.
- A firing delayed is a failure.
- Dissent brings disappointment and satisfaction.
- If you have nothing better to do, you should wash your dishes.
- Hotties come in all flavors.
- Sometimes the most exciting things are the stupidest things.
- Don’t worry about expired crackers.
- If a forest makes no sound, it is probably in Iceland.
- Different creatures react differently to toxins.
- Perseverance outlasts panic.
- Sometimes when the car runs out of gas, you just need to get a new car.
- Bleu Cheese left long enough will turn gray.
- Acts of kindness should be calculated, not random.
- If everyone carried a gun, the world would basically be like a bar in a Star Wars movie.
- If you are thirsty, drink water. When you tire of water, drink tequila.
- After yesterday, the floor is both your friend and your worst enemy.
- Never submit to tyranny, but delay the revolution until the perfect moment.
- Steak is damn good. Tofu is also good, but not as good, but also more humane. For some it is a quandary.
- Longevity may be pointless.
- Smoking is cool, no doubt about it, but also stupid and gross, like Ke$ha.
- Set aside some time to waste time.
- Irrational numbers are fascinating bullshit.
- The present is like a veil blowing in the wind, that is shot with a laser and burns up, scattering dust to the ground. The ground is the past, but then what represents the future? I don’t know. Nobody cares.
- Whether written, spoken, or imagined, words can hurt.
- Bring new life to your arrogance: roast your own coffee beans!
- Do you have questions? The person standing in your doorway may think they have answers.
I Can Help the Next Person 