You don’t have to wait if you have one of these reasons.

• Valiant efforts to not quit waning.
• Driven to the brink of caring too much to endure further bullshit.
• Everyone else is quitting.
• None of the new products are even worth the 20% discounted price.
• Cinnamon brooms psychosis!
• Just really tired of answering questions about flowers.
• Got shit to do.
• Stopped working last week, should let them know.
• Want every day to be a no-call-no-show day.
• Excuses for the missing cheese increasingly questioned.
• Want to park right up front just once before dying.
• Starting competing dropping-jars-on-concrete-floor business.
• Unfortunate misunderstanding of how unemployment works.
• Speculative research to find out if freedom is really just a word for nothing left to lose.
• Bluffing.
• Need to use drugs, can’t use drugs on job enough.
• Only way to sleep with mate.
• Want to be tired on own terms.