Vicious Breakfast
Steelcut Oats

Only the Brave Are Comforted
Creamy Polenta

Arousing Snacking
Pistachio Nutmeats

A Cry for Help Coming From the Rotini
Vodka Sauce

Pretend Your Life Is Perfect
Stacked Eggplant Parmesan

Distress Signal
Sea Salt Brownie Petites

Kicked Off the Golf Course for Wading in the Water Hazard Sorority Gargle
Strawberry Margarita

Okay, This Has Gone Too Fucking Far With the Nut References! Can’t You Just Stick a Regular Name on a Regular Product! This Is Just a Way to Have Nuts Rub Against Your Clothes to Get Them Clean! What? No, the Clothes Get Clean! The Nuts Come Soaped Already. Goddammit I See You Laughing! I’m Not Saying Anything More! This Ends Here!
Laundry Soap Nuts

…Godammit…
Dark Chocolate Nutty Bits (60% Cacao)