The Plan So Far

General Malaise, Lists
  1. Alarm. Coffee. Toast with toothpaste on it. Soak shirt in deodorant the night before.
  2. Leave house early to allow time to buy lunch before shift.
  3. Emergency stop at gas station to buy dinosaur juice.
  4. Arrive at work. Stare transfixed at swirling masses of customers, like excited seagulls at the beach.
  5. Pause to regroup. Clock in.
  6. A couple bags of 2-pound tortilla chips won’t fit on shelf, but too few to go back. Momentary confusion. Decisively take a facing away from Restaurant Style. Restaurant Style can fight to win back its territory when its case arrives. Sucks to arrive late. Sucks to suck.
  7. Unexpectedly discover store now has dragon fruit! You are selling dragon fruit to people! You are helping people buy dragon fruit! Wow, that’s cool. You wonder what it looks like INSIDE, but it’s kind of expensive. Ask customer to come back and let you know what it was like.
  8. Sell 23 of the 99% Fat Free Burritos to a customer, which has never happened before. After lackluster probing, customer reveals they are his favorite and he can’t get them anywhere else.
  9. Lunch. Glad you bought it before lunch, but sad you forgot to buy a drink.
  10. Sad walk to the Dayforce gallows to clock in.
  11. Start mental list of what you should buy at the end of the night. Beer? Probably. Better put it in The Box to chill now. You can pay later.
  12. Overhear Crew in back room complaining about 2-pound tortilla chips being stuffed on shelf and they can’t put up the Restaurant Style. Schadenfreude.
  13. So much garlic, and all of it from Gilroy, California. Imagine how that town smells.
  14. Customer attempts to tip you, but you graciously decline, but they leave a dollar on the counter and walk away. You are essentially powerless to stop their generosity, but also are unsure what to do with the dollar now.
  15. Store succumbs to the night.
  16. Mark off dozens of bread loaves that are perfectly fine but have stickers on them with bad numbers. Or no stickers, so nobody can ascertain whether they are good to sell.
  17. Buy a couple things. Sour Swimmers are going to make Netflix even better.
  18. Go home. Turn on Netflix. Realize you forgot beer you put in The Box.
  19. Several seconds of feeling bad in complementary ways.
  20. Lose fight with sleep beast.
  21. Wake up 2 hours later and remember the huge 99% Fat Free Burritos purchase. Text someone about it. Hopefully their phone is on silent mode.
  22. Receive immediate reply. They couldn’t sleep.
  23. Unrealistic adventures behind jittery eyes.
  24. Call from work asking if you are coming in today.
  25. Shit.