Situation: Customer asks what the bells are for.
Talking points: Customers are always curious to learn more about the bells! Let them know the bells are how we call for assistance. For instance, if we have a rush then we ring the bell once to call for an additional cashier. Two rings of the bell means we need an acolyte devoted to the Cause to procure Arcane Materials for us. If they hear three bell tolls, that indicates an abiding displeasure in the Realm, and a senior demigod is needed to use their Key of Repairing to appease a discontented spirit. Explain that if they ever hear more than three bell chimes in a row, they should drop everything and run from the store without hesitation. Crew members will attempt to suspend their transactions, and if the hell-rift is not blocking access to the back room then they will move the suspended orders into The Box. At a later date when the protective seals have been restored to the Realm of Groceria, they will have plenty of time to safely purchase their Ebay store inventory.

Situation: Customer loves our cards. Customer thinks they are so great, so cheap. Customer buying shit-ton of cards to have on hand for all occasions. Customer puts cards in special drawer. All the customer’s problems with sentimental issues, personal relationships, have been solved.
Talking points: Just let them talk. Mention the Rose Water Facial Toner if they pause.

Situation: Customer complaining about weather.
Talking points: First, determine if today is Wednesday. If today is not Wednesday, then comment that “There’s supposed to be more on Wednesday.” If today is Wednesday, then say you never thought Wednesday would be like this. If pressed on any comment respond vaguely. Consider using pseudo-philosophical statements, such as, “Well that’s just how it always goes, you know.”

Situation: Customer is super cute and comes to your register. Customer says they think you are cute and has always been too intimidated to come to your line. Suggests you get together for a round of disc golf and then dinner at their place. Asks if you like the wine they’re buying.
Talking points: This is not a real situation. Get back to work.