Situation: Customer wants Strawberry Beet Juice.
Talking points: Not applicable. Never has been.

Situation: Customer thanks you for showing up to work, performing baseline duties.
Talking points: Thank them, but say that it would really help you if they could write the Nobel Committee to nominate you for the Retail Hospitality Award. You’re hoping to avoid a replay of last year when Brayden won, which was super disappointing.

Situation: Customer refers to you by name.
Talking points: Ask the customer to repeat what they just said. When they say your name, look puzzled. Gaze down at your nametag, remove it, and put it in your pocket. Inform them that [your name] isn’t available, but you are happy to help. Assist them with their question, and when done, put your nametag back on your shirt while they watch.

Situation: Customer claims to be doing great due to being “above ground.”
Talking points: Smile and nod to acknowledge their shallow appraisal of the value of life. Suggest that they round out their perfectly unpunctuated day with some mac and cheese.

Situation: Customer is sorry to bother you.
Talking points: Let them know that you are also sorry, very sorry, but there is nothing that either of you can do about it now. The bother is already laid on the table, so you might as well work through it and do your best to try and move past this black mark on your day.