Things to Discuss

Communication, General Malaise, Lists
  • Customers who have never been in the store before and don’t really care anything about Trader Joe’s but just needed a bottle of water or a banana
  • Putting eggs on the bottom of the bag isn’t necessarily a mistake, but people generally have stronger feelings on the topic than they do about their preferred brand of toothpaste, so be ready for it.
  • If you’re going to get replacement eggs, make sure they aren’t also broken before you bring them back, cause, like that’s the whole deal.
  • Yes, we sell chocolate. Glad I could help.
  • No one’s ever heard of this kind of apple before, but it has its own produce code that actually works, which means it was in the computer before we even knew it existed…whoa. Glen said it’s pretty good.
  • My scanner area is special to me and it is fragile. Please put your basket on the special basket shelf. THIS IS ALL I’VE GOT! RESPECT MY SPACE!
  • When your children help me they aren’t helping. I’m happy to pretend and enable then to have a fun time at the store, but if they drop a bottle of pasta sauce then I will stand and watch you clean it up on your knees before I check you out.
  • If I’m not clocked in yet, and customers are asking me questions that require some investigation, but if I help them then I will be late clocking in, plus not getting paid for working, but if I tell them I can’t help them then I’ll probably get in trouble, right? Whew. Where to start with the rage?
  • Signs: The Pretty vs. Informative vs. Speed vs. If They Want a Sign They Can Make Their Own Damn Sign Debate
  • Only two people in the store know the truth about why we sell three different types of pizza dough, and they’re not talking.
  • The new guy: what’s his deal?
  • How to get out of helping a customer if you really actually are in the middle of something important and can’t help them. Or if you really have to pee.
  • Fives are legal tender. It’s not your fault they only left home with a fifty and only bought an apple. If you give them nine fives they have to take them. It’s the law. If you don’t open the drawer very wide then they probably can’t see you have tens.
  • Yes, I dropped the onion. Did anyone see me pick it up? I should have a clear conscience. It’s an onion. You don’t eat the outside parts. Does everyone think like this?
  • Is the truck here? Is the truck coming? It’s late again! What the hell! Why is the truck always late! How hard is it to drive an hour on the interstate! Where do they get these drivers! Is it the warehouse’s fault? Aaaaaaa! Everyone but me is stupid!!!!
  • The beautiful ultra-fit couple who refuse to engage in friendly chit chat and are only buying boring stuff: I bet they are unhappy and their friends talk behind their backs.
  • Have you tried that thing before? Yeah, it’s good isn’t it? Yeah.
  • Just because you are old does not mean it is okay for you to block the store exit. Also, doors have worked the same way since rock tombs. And they work the exact same way in Estonia too. So move over or get out. We’re through with your weird psychological game.