“Captain Feelings” would be an excellent name for a reality show that takes place on a yacht owned by an empathic philanthropist who guides lusty passengers on a journey through a sea of shallow emotions, eventually ending up in Cancun. While this is pretty far removed from most people’s experience with captains, some Crew suspect that the Captain of their store may, in fact, be capable of emotional responses. Although limited, there are reports substantiated by independent witnesses where a Captain has been seen to smile. There have even been isolated reports of Captains jump starting a crew member’s car, which could possibly indicate some underlying capacity for empathy. However, in general, the feeling most commonly observed with Captains is anger, followed closely by disappointment. Occasionally a Captain will make efforts to counter their reputation of being a hollow mechanization of greedy corporate zealotry, by utilizing their mouth movement abilities to send semi-plausible friendliness sounds toward various Crew. However, this is often confusing to their targets, since the Crew had long assumed that the Captain was a supernatural being, unable to directly communicate with sub-beings, and primarily specializing in requisitioning fixture repairs, or in rare instances concrete work. Perhaps due to the language differences between the two species, Captains’ efforts to express feelings are often bewildering to the Crew. A Crew member may initially assume that they are in trouble, and the Captain will have spoken several sentences before the paralyzed Crew realizes that they are being thanked for making a bale. While Crew members very much appreciate knowing that the Captain is concerned for their wellbeing, and appreciates their work, having this directly communicated to them is unnerving.