Reasons to Clean

General Malaise, Lists
  • You discovered that plastic industry lied, things don’t always bounce.
  • Are new hire, hoping to win them over.
  • Dropped phone in hummus.
  • You had to do some troubleshooting in the bathroom.
  • Decision simplified per updated schedule.
  • Ironically, soap spill isn’t going to clean itself.
  • When everything is dirty, selective cleaning can be a tool for creative expression.
  • It’s your gap year.
  • Table sticky from cleaning residue.
  • Keeping hands damp so they won’t dry out and crack.
  • Trash can is outside. Weather fine.
  • Have been imprisoned by evil step sisters.
  • Ran out of paper plates.
  • Llama was angry.
  • Mop smell is now pants smell, must prevent it becoming car seat smell.
  • Someone complained about pumpkin mold juice.
  • It’s that, or face DFN.
  • Your mother doesn’t work here.
  • They’re watching you.
  • Really people!? That’s fucking disgusting!
  • The guy didn’t need a cart, did need 13 tubs of yogurt.
  • Need a fork.
  • Never give microscopic terrors a moment’s rest.
  • Scanner’s unblinking red eye has glaucoma.
  • You are a customer who believes that the one thing you saw fall on floor is the only thing that has been on floor.
  • Sub-par chicken packaging
  • Need to scratch face.
  • Although the pandemic has been over for ten years, and you swore you’d never clean again, you were not expecting to ever move out of this apartment.