Lessons Learned

  • As you walk past coworkers, resist joyfully bragging, “I’m so important that the Captain decided to bring a Mate to our meeting!”
  • Tuck in the part of your shirt with the stain.
  • There’s more to getting promoted than buying your own Hawaiian shirt.
  • Kale has no season.
  • People waiting in line to enter the store have not yet earned the right to be called Customers.
  • When they told you to clean the thing, they actually were okay with it being a little dirty still.
  • Low Sodium Chicken Broth weighs the same as Chicken Broth with the regular amount of sodium.
  • The Super Amazing Kitchen Cloth cannot stop a wax fire.
  • If your name is on the receipt, your name is on the moldy strawberries that you rang up twice.
  • The only thing unexpected is that the cheddar is out of stock, and even then, not so much.
  • A Production Delay is a relationship issue between Supply and Demand, where Supply needs to be comfortable that Demand really is still devoted to it, and Demand needs Supply to understand that sometimes it needs to get tamales from somewhere else.
  • It’s pretty annoying when a customer is in a better mood than you, but also really annoying when they are in a bad mood. The best you can hope for is to encounter customers who are in the exact same mood as you. Avoid tipping the scales with casual discussion.
  • Green potatoes are the treacherous undertow of a WOW! Experience.
  • A review is not the place to brag about your juggling skills.
  • Not all bread should be shared.
  • Nobody cares that avocados are fruit, but extrapolating that guacamole is technically jam is  interesting enough to kill a little time while ringing up a big cart.
  • Claim you lost the hoodie.